I feel like I am fitting into motherhood more and more each
day. Everything that comes with the lifestyle – plenty of unpredictability, less sleep, instant changes, lots of playing, a baby’s cry, and being time efficient. Slowly but surely, I really am loving all of it. I am becoming a mother.
However, I still I have plenty of growing room…I have miles to go before I sleep (that’s a figurative phrase – thanks, R Frost – here is the poem in full).
That Olivia is one patient woman to put up with me and all of my learning.
I’m learning all about patience. It’s in everything isn’t it, especially in helping someone else grow their mind and body.
Actually, I take
that back. Patience is mostly in my relationship with me. I expected quite a lot of myself as a mother during Olivia’s
early months. I thought I should understand her every need
100% and to know how to satisfy each one of them. I mean, that’s what being a
good mom is, right?
To an extent, yes, but the fullest, no. I’m learning to cut
myself some slack because, honestly, I’m drinking from a fire hose.And giving myself a little credit has been
good – it’s only led me to naturally and easily give everyone else a lot of credit.
People are amazing.
I’ve come to believe that everyone – in at least one way – is doing a fantastic
job at whatever is asked of him or her.
To my dear bogged-down, worried friend: you’re doing a much
better job than you think you are. Are you trying your best? Are you at least
doing what you know how to do? Then tell yourself, “good job,” and really
believe it when you say it. You are absolutely wonderful.
It’s good to be learning this stuff. Being a parent isn’t
easy, and some days I am mother curmudgeon, but most days I am 100% grateful and in love with everything that motherhood is. All the stretching,
thinking, mistaking, trying, laughing, loving – it is really, really good.
