Emmy was an angel, Claire was a soldier in blue. Chloe was a Mother Hubbard girl, and Olivia was a big mouse and a Sugar Fairy, too. Every December, my girls’ dance studio puts on a pretty spectacular production of “The Nutcracker” that they adore being apart of. Come and see…
The stage, the costumes, the choreography, the dancers, the music! What a ballet. We feel so lucky to have the chance to be apart of it all. Here are some snaps of my girls back stage before their shows…
There are five shows in total – the girls dance Thursday through Saturday night, matinees included – during what we’ve come to call “Nutcracker Week,” and yes, it’s a huge week. Auditions for the ballet are held in August, and the girls and their teachers work for hours every Friday and Saturday for four months to prepare for the show. Our cute Duke of Hazard is not in a Nutcracker-friendly stage, so Ryan and I took turns home back with him and going to watch the girls. Friends and family polka dotted every show, which made our girls feel so good. They shared their love of dance and this beautiful ballet with people they love — the whole point of the whole production!
The Nutcracker season is the epitome of my life with my girls right now — endless classes and rehearsals, prompt start times, and driving for hours in between each of the four girls’ separate schedules. Nutcracker is just one part of our lives – the girls are still involved in other things – and while the management of their four separate schedules is exhausting, I have to be honest, I’ve been holding out for this mothering stage.
When I was pushing them in swings by myself at the park, plopped on the ground building with blocks, and pureeing food for their dinners, I vividly remember getting through some of those long, often mundane toddler days by imagining life when my girls would be busy and involved and moving and hustling. I knew we’d connect in the car as I drove them wherever they needed to go. I knew we’d blast music and talk and laugh. I knew that we would love this stage.
And yet! Younger Mom Jeni didn’t see that this vibrant, older stage would be nearly identical to the young-kid one! My schedule is born from their schedules; my time is determined by their time. My freedom can feel confined and that often feels frustrating. Back then, I had no idea how tired I would be now — I didn’t foresee the mental burnout that comes from negotiating with girls who are old and have opinions. I didn’t think about how tiring the driving under would be, all under the pressure to never be late, too. I didn’t foresee that when we’d finally be in the car to rush them to class that I’d actually shut the music down, glare at the road for the entire drive across town, and just wish for the hectic day to be over. Like all daydreams of the future you wish to be in, I didn’t foresee the flip side (oh how there is always a flip side).
And yet. Just like the sleepless baby and toddler years, you fall from the stress of it all and you get back up again. In the big-kids phase, it’s meal by meal, drive by drive, assignment by assignment – but you woman up and you learn that you and your grown-up girls can do it. All of the hard is never a lost game — just an opportunity to do “less but better” and to actually zone in on what matters most to you and your crew. Every day starts at the bottom of a mountain and no matter how much you slip and trip along the way, every day ends at the summit.
This is motherhood, no matter the stage.
I’m grateful to be in the thick of it with them. They are good girls who are growing (really can’t stay that enough right now)! Through stretching and stunning endeavors like “The Nutcracker,” they are beautifully growing and learning how much they can do.
Mom is, too.
And I think that’s the point of it all.
All of the gorgeous film photos in this post were taken by the girls’ teacher and friend, Halli. We adore her and her work!! We’ll cherish her photos for forever.
