Today, Sunday, found me taking deep breaths of relief that I didn’t quite know I needed. Ryan got a break from work this weekend. Our at-home church service was wild and crazy but I just closed my eyes, making it a moment to still worship my God. I saw 10 of my friends in real life (from a socially acceptable distance, don’t worry); we circled up to say “goodbye” to one of our moving-away best fiends.
A husband.
A prayer.
A friend. Many friends.
My heart feels tender, honestly, realizing how much of a relief that sweet trifecta was for me. It just goes to show that I’ve been bearing some weight and I’m a little weighed down. Obviously not to the point of tapping out (I had the funnest time last week here with you on my blog – we worked through 5 posts together last week)! Rather, it’s the opposite. The more life in quarantine has carried on — with its blurred work-life-balance lines, groundhog day repetitiveness, and lonely, social distancing — the more I’ve kicked up the gears and worked. And I’m a little weary. Very happy, still. But today I realized that I’ve been weary, too.
You can exist in both extremes, you know, all at once. You can be on the front lines of a struggle while lining up your blessings and standing in awe of them all.
“And it came to pass that he voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know…my people and [will] deliver them out of bondage. And I will also ease the burdens which are placed upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage…” (Mosiah 24:13-14).
Enslaved and at ease. The dichotomous state is so much more normal than we let ourselves realize. I think the comfort-seeking, pleasure-driven aspects of human nature push us to believe that happiness and hardship cannot coexist. But no. More often than not, the two opposites work hand-in-hand, polishing our rough edges, rounding us out, and ultimately making us shine. And oh, how grateful I am for that. Life’s rough realities remind me of my need for Divine help, and Divinity’s delivered ease reaffirms to me that help is always given.
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PS, due to Ryan having part of Saturday off, the girls and I didn’t do our at-home lesson — we soaked up our free Daddy instead! So my apologies for the post’s delay; thanks for bearing with me. I’ll have the lesson for the letter “E” up this week! Stay tuned. 🙂
