FROM CLOUDY TO CLEAR

Olivia is napping now. I should be revolutionizing my
bedroom’s organization, but instead I’m sitting here and writing. I would
rather write right now than clean.

My head is swimming with thoughts, and I’m not sure where to
start. I need to punch some of these musings out, though, in order to keep a
move on…

The weekend found me feeling seriously grateful because last
week found me feeling seriously sour. Ryan was busy. Like his days ran from 8:00 – 9:00, jam packed with
legitimately important school to-do’s. As Monday became Thursday, I was
evermore annoyed that he was so busy.
Have you been there, felt that? Your husband’s still on campus working on econometric analysis, and then he comes
home and needs to work out that blasted term paper? And all you want him to do
is something else? Anything else??

By Friday, enough was enough, and this thought blared
through my mind on a megaphone: “Remember that Ryan’s well-being largely
depends on you. If you’re being ungrateful, don’t expect to feel happy. And don’t
expect him to feel happy at all.”

Aha. Every light bulb in the world flicked “on,” and for the
first time in days I was seeing again. I saw a stretched-thin student, husband,
father, and provider running the final leg of the school semester with
impressive stamina. My near-to-bursting heart (finally) felt some incredible
love.

A perspective change – that’s all it took. I just had to
switch my cloudy glasses for clear ones and all was well. Why did it take me
nearly a week to make the trade? Bless me.

So the weekend was wonderful. And unless I choose to swap my clean, clear glasses for the clouded ones, the week ahead will be no different. 

Photo from yesterday’s walk to church, a little jaunt I’m oh so happy to make in this icy-road weather.