THERE’S PUMPKIN IN MY KITCHEN

…and a whole bunch of joy in my heart. I whipped up my version of these petite pumpkin bites as
Olivia napped – aka, during “me time.” Funny, though, how “me time” can go down…the only thing I thought of
all the while was her.

Maybe this is easy to infer, but I think sometimes I need to shout this from the rooftops – 

I adore being a mother! 

I was wary of becoming a mother, though – truly I was. Ryan was
braver than me and said we’d do “mama and dad” just fine. He was right, and my wariness
was still real, and we forged ahead. Because really, the time was right. We knew.

Soon my fear turned to faith, and that faith turned the rest
of my feelings into joy. Then, we blinked, Olivia was born, and there I was –
her mother.

And here I am, her one-year-old
mother. Naïve, still, in so many ways. But bolder, yet, in my love and strength.

Olivia is starting to tell me all about how she feels. Her
mouth gives me babbles only, but her expressive eyes say the novel-worthy rest. “Mama, I
love that!” “Mama…ow.” “Mama, you are hilarious.”
“Mama? Thanks.”

Our hearts are further fusing by the day, and I’m feeling
again what I felt at her birth – that I know
her. She knows me. We’ve seen each other through our ugliest, most terrible days. And we’ve awed at the other’s
finest moments as a mother and as a daughter. We’re friends and will be forever.

I am Olivia’s mama! That’s all my mind could toss around today in the kitchen. And this delicious thought, too – she is my sweet girl.