Saturday, April 20, 2019
Whoa whoa whoa!

HAPPY MID-APRIL. Woo! It's been a while, little Blog. I've been busy! Not so busy that I can't relax, but not so relaxed that I feel fidgety (my yellow-red people out in the world get me there). Best of both worlds.

Growing our fourth baby girl has kept me busy. And sleepy! More than a few evenings have found me hitting the hay early. I love giving myself the gift of going to bed early, honestly, because sleep is still such a priceless gift around here. I mean, we're nowhere near the unbelievably long and hard nights of Emmy's baby life, but it's still unusual for me to get an uninterrupted night of sleep. With three little dolls in the house, inevitably one (if not two?) needs something at some point in the dead of the night. I was really tired this week after one majorly up-and-down night, and I had to sit and think for a second about whether it's good or bad that I'm still not super sleeping as we look ahead to having Baby Girl. Because, I mean, I'm not sleeping! I'm used to getting up and working and going back to bed! And then it's like, but wait, I'm not sleeping...?!? Ah well. If I've learned anything in dealing with sleep deprivation and fatigue, it's not to let my mind stay in a place of analysis or wonder or worry, basically over anything and everything. Life is what it is. Best to do my best, count the blessings, literally smile and move on.

When I haven't been too sleepy in the evenings, helping other small businesses grow has kept me busy. I've branded and consulted three new startups in the last four months, and I have loved every single second of the work. Each business is still in the very, very beginning stages of building their companies, so I have nothing physical to show for them and their designs but man, how I want these businesses to really fly -- each of them has such heart and will do so much good! Helping small businesses (especially female-run!) get going is a gig that I didn't really try to fall into, but it's happened in the last year, and it has been so filling for me. Makes me extremely grateful.

Last but NOT least, people in the present have kept me busy! Friends, family, my sweet Ryan and our girls. ๐Ÿ’“ We're in such a good place right now. Ryan's job still feels like such a blessing. Our daily girl-squad routine is down and yet we're fluid, we're flexible (makes my yellow-red personality sing again). We are exactly two months away from meeting our fourth sister, which blows my mind. I have a small list of personal projects I want to finish before she comes, so I stopped taking business clients last month and started chipping away at things, like picking up my DSLR again in prep for baby girl. I want to document these four girls so well -- hence the load of pictures below. I actually just finished taking this photography class and I loved it. I highly, highly recommend it. The class is super thorough and clear and effective (feels like my photography game has been upped already). Good photos are just straight up magic, you know? They focus on, sharpen, and brighten the positive and beautiful of everyday life, and that kind of mental and physical focus just feels good.

A few specific blog posts to write and share here are on my "personal pre-baby list," so I'll be back here real soon. The only thing is -- they are personal, semi hard posts to write, and I can feel my feet (slash fingers?) dragging on them. I want to write these thoughts out well. I want these thoughts and feelings to make sense. I want time to make them make sense -- solid, good time. But seriously? Time is never handed to you. You (I'm talking to you, Jeni!) take the same 24 hours every single person on this planet is given and you decide what to make of it. You never get more time to do anything. Just more guts, if you want them, to make your time fill your soul. And with whatever time you can use to make something that does a little good for you and or others or both, let it be enough. Let the product of your concerted time be enough, whether or not it's perfect. Do your best, count the blessings, literally smile, and move on.

Okay now that THAT unexpected personal spiel is over (haha, didn't see that one coming!), looks like I will be writing these blogs posts here after all. Stayed tuned.

For now -- photos of my dolls at The Flower Fields in Carlsbad. Thousands of ranunculus are planted there every year, and every Spring they bloom and take your breath away. We went last year and took photos, too, so it's officially tradition. I can only imagine how these girls and Baby Sis will grow against this backdrop! Makes my mama heart happy.

PS -- some of these shots are the work of Olivia and Claire (you go girls!!). I'll let you decide which ones. ;)
I know this one isn't the best of Olivia, but Emmy had literally just tripped and Claire had scooped her up and I can't not share it. Be stilllll my soul. ๐Ÿ’ž
 Olivia wanted an "old fashioned" pic on the famous tractor. "So no smiling, Claire. You have to look serious." :)


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