Thursday, February 7, 2013
I learned two very important things about Ryan after we were married that I should have known about him before we were married. 

1) Ryan loves babies. Newborn babes, especially, and Ryan wanted to be a father for a long, long time. 
2) Ryan wants a pilot's license, and one day he wants to fly his own plane.


Obviously I got over revelation one (Olivia is perfect and, thus far, I have survived as a young mother), and I'm happy to say that I'm over revelation two, as well. Although it took some backing-down, per se, for me to do so. 

Case and point:

Ryan works with the Andrews, an incredible couple. The said Mr. Andrew has his own homemade, self-built plane. When Mr. Andrew learned of Ryan's deepest desire to fly, he couldn't wait to take Ryan to coast through the sky in that said homemade airplane. 

When Ryan told me this one day after work, I was immediately skeptical. A homemade plane, as in one he built by himself? I thought. Seriously?? Red flags, red, red flags. I vote that only machines can build airplanes.

And this is how I envisioned that homemade plane with my man and Mr. Andrew as its captains.

That's what I thought, but this is what I said, "Um...okay."

Ryan: "You don't want me to go..."

Me: "Well he, uh, built the plane himself." 

Ryan: "He's experienced, Jen. I'd feel safe with him any day." 

Yeah, but what about ________, _______, and _______ (insert any type of treacherous outcome, the greatest of which would be death to my husband). I vote "no." I thought. It still seemed like a crazy idea, but...

I trust Ryan, in the end, and he needs to know that. Obviously there are times where we disagree (such as in flying in a homemade plane some thousands of feet in the air) but there's rarely a positive that is found in criticizing your spouse's ideas, and most especially their dreams. That just causes hurt all around.

Granted, that doesn't throw caution to the wind if the dream is too risky. But like in this case, Ryan felt both 100% confident and excited. So after learning all that I could/needed to about his adventure - Mr. Andrew has flown the said homemade plane around the country for a few decades, and the flight would be short - I needed to stop the questioning and trust.

Of all people, shouldn't I should be the one that supports Ryan 150%? It can be a cruel world out there for fathers these days, and he needs to feel solace and confidence through me.

"Okay. Promise you'll be safe."

He promised he would be. 

And he was. 

He and Mr. Andrew actually flew in this sleek bird. Oh how my imagination was wrong...
And they had a fantastic time. 

Ryan called me just before take-off to come outside at 2:00 - that's when they would be flying overhead our apartment. 

Olivia and I geared up and went out, me in my red coat and she in her turquoise hat so that Dad could glimpse us. 

This is what we saw of him - a tiny white dot between the two trees.
And in that moment of seeing Ryan up there in the sky, I really, really wished I was with him. I imagined what he saw up there - the valley in white, a frosted lake, towering mountains - and I wanted to be the one up in that plane. He was flying, nearly all by himself. What a dream.

I've learned at least one important thing about being a good wife after being married that I should have known beforehand: support your man, 150%. Let your trust in him and his dreams be his wings for flying.

And then, watch him soar. 


  1. your blog is my absolute favorite to read! i always learn so much from you :)

    also, that's one insane homemade plane! go ryan! (and go you for going along with it!)

  2. Ryan and Dix share this same crazy dream. Though Dix gave up on his idea of making a living as an airline pilot long ago, he still dreams of and intends to get his private pilot's license someday. Maybe he and Ryan can do it together :)
    Secondly, I have found that almost anytime Dix has some idea that I think is crazy or a bad idea, it ends up being fun and wonderful. Something that I treasure rather than something I regret.

  3. Great post. And I'm so flattered that you have my blog in your "highly recommended" column! Thank you!


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