ON FEELING HAPPY WHEN IT'S HARD: IDEAS FOR BEATING THE BLUES + CREATING A BIT O' JOY!

Wednesday, April 26, 2017
My Emmy is 6 weeks old, and that means we are turning our first corner!! If you can make it to 6 weeks with a newborn, you can make it to 12 weeks, and after 12 weeks -- girl, you're hommmme free. ๐Ÿ™Œ

That also means we've had some seriously horrendous-hilarious experiences around here. Every day I swim through a sea of breast milk, spit up, poo and pee, and every night I swim back through it again. Nothing annihilates normalcy in your life like adjusting to your new life with a new baby. Nothing leaves you feeling so incompetent and soo not confident. But I tell you - after going through this for the third time - nothing like family life gives you a better chance to take raw, inherently rough matter and make it awesome.

I.E.: these photos below. I hoped I could get a few cute ones with the girls last week - I wanted to write a post about this whole mothering three thing. I wanted to do something normal and creative. But LOOK AT THESE. I mean, Emmy... ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

SWEET IS THE WORD! JAMES 2:17 - "FAITH" IS A VERB. PLUS WHY GOD SOMETIMES KEEPS ANSWERS OR HELP AT BAY FOR A BIT.

Saturday, April 22, 2017
Pic via: the HEAT of the moment! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Would you look at that scene down there. Poop on the Solly Swaddle. Diapers. Tissues. Our best friend, Nose Frieda (my favorite contraption). Pajamas, the mat, wipes, and a tiny bit of Baby Emmy head. 
The shot hails from week 3-4 when Emmy had a cold (and 50% of what we did all day was suck out her nose, poor thing). The week was rough, as each one is up until weeks 6-8. As you can see, I plopped my scriptures right on top of everything going on, and as you can see, they're closed. I had them ready to open and read, but I ended up reading only on my phone that morning, as so many of these morning scripture studies have gone. I simply hope to share that I'm scrapping to keep my spirit fueled - my "studies" are SO far from perfect - but I'm scrapping and that's the point. Reading anything with the intent to connect with God and to show Him that I care about His presence in my life is one big way that I'm putting my most faithful foot forward these days. I wish I could say that everything has been blissful because I'm working to be faithful, but hello, you can see life is very much an incredible mess. 

Does that mean I should shake a few fists up to heaven then? I'm being "good," where's the reciprocity?! I'd be lying if I said I haven't done that in some of the more desperate moments of this stretching time, but I'd also be lying if I said that attitude was okay to keep around, because it's not. God does hear. He DOES answer. You do your part, and He does His, both at the impeccably perfect and the most reasonable times. This family/motherhood adjustment phase it's very much like a marathon to me: while I can grab a drink of water here and a gel packet there to keep me going, I can't (and shouldn't!) get everything I want right now. I'm in the middle of the run. I'm not yet at the finish.

But boy, am I getting there. And when we've arrived - when we've crossed the line of adjustment and age and adaptation to our new life around here - we'll look back and see how good it was for us to run really hard, for a really long time, without more help than we needed. We will have earned our strength. God cherishes those times when we, His children, can use our agentive grit to grow (IE, this and this). And you know what? After watching my big girls get scrappy and conquer something without much more involvement than my constant encouragement - I keep my hands off as little as possible for their optimum growth - so do I. Strength and struggle travel together. The pursuit of easy things makes men weak. ๐Ÿ’›

Didn't think I'd have so much to say tonight! I do have so much to say and share about what I'm learning right now on this precious-to-me blog, though...how I hope to be back again this week with more. 

And now, a short and sweet "Sweet Is the Word!"

SWEET IS THE WORD! 2 NEPHI 27:23 - HE IS A GOD OF MIRACLES (AND DIGGING DEEP TO BELIEVE THAT!)

Sunday, April 9, 2017
Pic via: the kitchen table one morning. And by "morning" I mean 11:00 AM. There's no way I could have this kind of food ready for myself before then. Also, this gig was a one time deal. You all know what I'm really eating for breakfast (desperately grabbing fistfuls of crackers for breakfast instead... ๐Ÿ™Œ)
Entry from Wednesday, April 5
2 Nephi 27:23
"Behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles."

And He always has been and always will be and He works in conjunction with my faith. Yes, I know. But after another terrible night with Emmy, I feel low on faith. It's so hard to be struggling, to call out for help - help that you really really need (like now!) - and to not get the help. Your prayer was your exerted faith, but it didn't merit the answer you need, if any answer at all, so...?

It's so hard to be human. I will try to believe that His answers (or lack thereof) and the absolute best thing for me, even when they don't make sense. Trying to believe is faith, too, you know. It is faith, too.

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD: WELCOME TO THE WORLD, EMMY EVE!

Tuesday, March 28, 2017
My heart is bursting with this one...where do I begin?

Our precious Emmy Eve is here and, just as it was with the births of her older sisters, our family feels whole.

Her arrival was one of the more sacred, special, and tender experiences of my life. Her reunion with her sisters was as close to perfect as anything could be. She came with all the strength and peace that she carried with her during her pregnancy. She has brought heaven into our home. Emmy is our angel!

SWEET IS THE WORD! D&C 6:36 - NO NEED TO DOUBT. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

Sunday, March 26, 2017
Pic via: my bed one early morning (right, Olivia? ๐Ÿ˜Š) after an early morning meal for my Emmy. I've kept my scriptures right by my bed and pulled them up for that first feeding each day, so as to keep the Spirit extra close. Having Emmy here - that sweet, perfect newborn! - is so heavenly, and I can't lose the spirit of the whole experience. I just don't want to. I also don't want my spiritual guard to go down, knowing well that there's a devil out there that wants to see my fail in my new life as Mother to three.

Long story short, I'm reading first thing in the morning with this baby. And feeling all the better for it.

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